Let Go of your Baggage
Until you’re Strong Enough to Carry It
When a seeker has thus taken responsibility for their life, and accepted
their responsibility to be One with and serve God, they must then recreate their
life, in a way that facilitates the change. A change from living for the separate self,
to living for the manifestation of the Universal Spirit. One element of this change
is ‘letting go’. They must leave behind their old ‘self-baggage’, along with their past.
They must leave behind and replace old selfish oriented programming and ideas.
And they must let go of attachments to people from their old ‘selfish oriented life’,
who they have self-oriented behavior patterns with, and who thus impede their spiritual
development. This is the same for friends or lovers. After one changes, and is
no longer subject to their own selfishness, then they can properly deal with such
things – but ONLY then.
When we talk about letting go of an attachment to a person, it’s not really the
person we must let go of. We don’t mean to say you must ‘cut off ties’ with someone,
in order to let go of a selfish attachment (unless it is an abusive relationship,
extremely detrimental, involves mutual negative dependence, or is like an out of
control addiction). Although it may be far easier, quicker, and better to just cut
things off clean. But sometimes the easy path is not the best, and often, such selfish
attachments take care of themselves anyway, as do oil and vinegar. All that can
be definitely said, is that we must lose our self’s selfish attachments.
Unfortunately, the primary reason for the existence of many relationships, is only
based on “feeding off of” the attention each person’s selfish separate self receives
from the other. This creates mutual (or one sided) possessiveness, which in turn
breeds all kinds of negative emotions depending on the changing tides of circum –
stances. This is especially true in intimate or ‘romantic’ relationships. Also, hobbies,
interests or ideals, were perhaps once held in common. But as people change,
so do interests and ideals. And then there is also karma to take into consideration.
This one you speak of, may be a soulmate, but her consciousness is not on the level
of yours, and she is not willing to grow – and your consciousness and Inner strength,
are not on the level of being up to the task of helping her – for now at least. But
sometimes, when your paths take you in different directions, you should let go, you
must let go. And even if you refuse to let go, sometimes fate gives you no choice.
Always remember though, those who truly belong together, will never be parted
forever, and often, not for long. But in any case, you must free yourself from your
attachments to those who have any measure of negative influence over you, or who
impede your spiritual growth, your flowing with Universal Will, or your manifestation
of God. Unselfish Love, God’s Love, is impersonal, it loves everyone. It is the
separate self that cuts us off from this, and prevents this, and one of the ways it
does it is by developing separate self-oriented attachments.”
“What do you mean that sometimes fate takes care of it?”
The Universal Law of vibration automatically creates changes of associates
when you change. Remember our discussion with Gabriel. Oil and vinegar are of
different molecular vibrations – and they will each seek their own level even if you
mix them up. If a part of the oil changed to become vinegar, it would join the vine-
gar level, and be surrounded by vinegar, and vice-versa. As you change your level
of consciousness (your vibration) to a higher one, you rise to a new level where new
higher consciousness friends will be found. Those of the old vibration that do not
change as you do, may try to hold you down. But if they are unsuccessful, they
generally just ultimately ‘fall away’ and stay behind in their own choice of worlds,
their own choice of consciousness – all of their own accord. To them, your changes
make you ‘weird’, boring, and ‘no fun’. And to you, they also become un-interesting,
‘shallow’ and boring. When this happens, it may initially feel like a ‘loss’, but
when you merge into your new higher level of consciousness, and find those who
belong with you on the same level, it feels wonderful. It is an incredible feeling to
find your new higher companions, ‘soulmates’, or soulgroup family.
But before you can change, and find your new natural vibrational level, you
must make those changes happen.
Selfish-oriented relationships are virtually the only kind of relationships nonenlightened
beings have. The spiritual seeker needs to get free from the negative
effects of such relationships. While selfishly based romantic relationships, are a big
problem, the more subtle relationships with friends, and other relationships offer
problems and challenges also.
The spiritual seeker who wants to change as rapidly as possible, should stop
wasting any time. And if part of that wasting time is ‘hanging out’ with people or
‘friends’ whose direction in life is self-centered rather than Universal or spiritual –
regardless of how ‘nice’ or ‘harmless’ this seems to be, then you are slowing yourself
down, or even maybe condemning yourself. People have established patterns
of behavior in their relationships, based on complex interactions between the selfish
separate selves who are involved. For the seeker, these behavior patterns are
negative side trips off their main spiritual path.
You know what I mean – diversions, selfish ‘highs’, making small talk, playing
or watching ‘games’, pursuing mutually selfish interests, ‘doing business’, whatever.
The ‘behavior patterns’ of those who are in such self-oriented relationships,
are ‘selfish separate self supportive’, and thus negative. And the patterns can’t be
changed until a student is totally free from his own selfish separate self. That’s one
reason there have always been monasteries and convents – so people can focus only
on their growth without any diversions or temptations even offering themselves –
until they have either achieved their goal, or become strong enough to be un-influenceable.
“So you mean avoid things you have in common or do in common, that are
Not just doing things that are fruitless. An entire association can be harmful.
Just like addicts, or criminals, there are many subtle, seemingly harmless behaviors
that can negatively affect you. Whether it just takes a moment away from your
growth (which could be that one extra moment you needed to achieve enlightenment
before you die), or it takes a moment away from something vital that you
might eventually be doing to help others once you are serving God – or something
that actually is directly harmful. A former criminal who really wants to go straight
should no longer associate with former friends who are still criminals – because they
are likely to commit crimes again, true?
“A drug addict who really wants to ‘kick the habit’ should not associate with
drug addict friends – or he is likely to use drugs again, true?”
The selfish separate self is similarly affected by other selfish separate selves.
Thus the true seeker of spiritual change, who really wants to change, must treat
his separate self ‘addiction’ just as seriously. And if they want to be more sure of
‘staying on the wagon’, they need to keep away from both the ‘drugs’ that feed the
addiction, and from those who are addicts. Like I said, that doesn’t necessarily
mean never seeing or talking to your old associates again. But it is obvious that you
do need to focus on freeing yourself from your own selfish separate self, ‘kick the
habit’ totally, and become immune to the negative effects of being around other
selfish separate selves. Otherwise, you will never be truly ‘good’ for the person in
that relationship, and they will never be good for you. That is one of the functions
of monasteries, but it could also be fulfilled by one or more friends who are on the
same path, or at least going in a similar direction as you. Things will be changing
in the future, and you will have to find new ways to accomplish helping people with
this sort of thing, without our monastery, or possibly any monastery.
It is not time. Let me go on. Just remember this. Whether you have a traditional
monastery or not, it is vital for the serious spiritual seeker, and student, who
wishes to grow as fast as possible, to find associates who are not part of their selfish
attachments or selfish addictive past. Instead, they should surround themselves,
or primarily associate with people who have a similar spiritual orientation, and
whose company is spiritually supportive. This is very important because again, at
this early stage of beginning to change, the outside influences of one’s associates,
have a great effect – thus people need monasteries, spiritual communities, or at least
friends and associates on the same path.